I love the quote that states, “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” Some attribute it to Henry Thomas Buckle and some attribute it to Eleanor Roosevelt. Regardless of its origin, I believe it’s so very true! It seems to me that the great thinkers throughout history did not waste their time talking about people, but used their energy to imagine and develop new and exciting ideas that have the potential to change the world and make it better.
Small minded people, on the other hand, waste their time talking about others and their shortcomings, most likely in an attempt to lift themselves up and appear superior. In reality, however, talking about others does more to make the speaker look bad, than the one they are talking about.
Unfortunately, in all likelihood, we have all fallen victim to the gossip mill many times. A juicy story can be enticing and bring excitement to an otherwise boring day, especially when it shines a light on the shortcomings of someone who has fallen out of favor in our eyes.
But we also know how painful and harmful gossip can be. When our most unflattering moments, or times when we have simply fallen short of who we wish to be, are shared with others, it can be hurtful and demeaning. Even sharing a story that up front appears to be innocuous, can have long reaching, painful effects, hurting not only the person with whom the story is about, but also those hearing the story as well as the person telling the story.
I think the best measurement of deciding whether a story or thought needs to be shared with others should pass the THINK test. Consider this:
Before you speak ask yourself,
T – is it True?
H – is it Helpful?
I – is it Inspiring?
N – is it Necessary?
K – is it Kind?
If it doesn’t pass the THINK test, consider keeping it to yourself.
So this week during Lent, I encourage you to stop the gossip mill. It’s not very flattering for yourself or others. Seek to be kind in this world – a world that is struggling to find its footing right now.
And when you close your mouth, open instead your ears. Listen to what the world has to say to you. Open your heart to the possibility of new life and relationship formed and developed in caring for one another – in building one another up – rather than tearing others down. Because when we build one another up through compassion and care, we have the potential to create a whole new world whose foundation is love, understanding and acceptance.